life sucks,what can i say,just a rant down here be prepared ig

altough i shall say,this is a random vent channel were i just write my bs shit,justi might delete this the nexy day after i wake up,if i don't forget,ik its cringy,ffs im the cringiest and clingiest person i,either way,ignore the below,just my dumbass vent and feelings i accumulated in the past few weeks

Been having repeating health issues again,mostly from my continous alcohol abuse,sometimes i leave the stuff for some weeks,days even,then i fuck myself over after a bad day,which is most days

wanted to rant more,and just a long asf rant just,not really feeling it,all the emotions just kinda washed off after i did some things,idfk.Mostly been feeling lonely,downright sui...yeah sui-chan shit.Mostly just been alone with my own shit,feels painful not having any support,and rarely having anyone reach out,when you are the one who is mainly reaching out and starting convos everytime,its just gets really fucking tiring you know. Im spiraling,out.Very steadily and i was for quite some time now,it hurts.Ik im gonna drop myself off eventually.AT least imtrying to better myself,learning some coding,doing productive shit,but still i feel so alone in all of this. Feels people i care dearly about barely care for me,when called out they say how much i matter but,ffs prove it.I hate to say spiteful some things have made me,ik life gets busy and all that,but at a certain point it gets so low,it just gets to me u know?

wrote some bs last night but its gone.oh well

Know me or not,u probably don't know that i do have a chronic ilness,its nothing super major or fatal,but it does impact my quality of life quite a bit,especially during winter when my flare ups start,everything hurts and im dead fucking tired all the time.